Saturday, August 30, 2008

The Hater

For a while, I was thinking of starting a blog called "The Hater," in which I would write a post a day about something I hated. In the end, I think this is just way too much bad karma to put out into the world, so I think instead I'll just dole out the hate from here. So, fueled by a hearty dose of Joshua Brook, the best bourbon $11.75 can buy, here is a list of things I hate (Oh, and if there are people on this list, it's not that I hate them per se. Like Sandra Bullock is on the list, but I've never met her, and I've heard nothing but nice things about her. She just doesn't do it for me, and I really, really dislike her movies.):

Sandra Bullock. See above.
Reggae. I might be the only person in the world who hates reggae. It's taken me a long time to admit it to myself, too. I used to bob my head, try to feel the groove. Now, I just turn the station. No reggae for me.
People who live in LA who talk about how much they miss New York City. If you love it so much, move back. It'd be one less jackass on the roads.
Guys who say "bra." But who doesn't hate those guys?
American cars. Let's see: poor fuel efficiency, boxy design, shitty safety ratings--what's not to hate? If I ever drive another Chrysler product, it will be cold day in hell.
Drivers who don't turn into the first available lane. Someday, when I'm king, these people will be the first to be rounded up and shot. I know you want to make an immediate right turn after turning left, but turn into the middle lane, then change lanes like the rest of us law abiding citizens.
Joe Morgan. If there's a worse guy broadcasting sports today, I haven't heard him. His war against on-base percentage is the most troglodytic stance since creationism.
My wife's delusional rants. Seriously, honey, you are crazy.
Picky eaters. Will you just try the chicken liver crostini? Please?

It's a very incomplete list. I'm filled with rage. Add your own in the comments.

2 comments:

JEB said...

Pat - you have inspired me to hate and create my own list. I appreciate the vibe. I would have to agree on Joe Morgan who was second on my list until CBS gave Billy Packer the boot...now he has been elevated to #1.

Unknown said...

Love the list...I honestly can't believe how short it is! Mine would be pages long!! How about people who misuse the word literally??? That would be my #1!