Thoughts on "The Hills"

One of the reasons I started this blog is so I can write about "The Hills," the MTV reality soap opera starring Lauren Conrad et al. I wrote an essay about "The Hills" called "This is Not Their Job: The Never-Ending Reality of "The Hills." It won the Pop Culture Essay Contest at Barrelhouse Magazine, and was just published in their most recent issue. Buy it here! Buy it, I say!

Since the text of the essay isn't currently available online, I'll summarize the argument here. "The Hills" represents a new type of TV show, one in which the actual "text" of the show, the content of the episodes themselves, is less interesting than the extra-textual content surrounding the show, the blogs, gossip sites, and tabloid magazines that cover the "characters" of the show. This gives the show a unique dramatic irony, in which the audience knows all about the characters yet the characters themselves can rarely acknowledge that the audience even exists. The unprecedented overlap between the show and the world around it also makes it difficult for the show to continue certain fictions, namely that Lauren needs to work at Teen Vogue (and now, People's Revolution) for her career (while she's making $25,000 an episode). There. The essay is much better than what I described so, again, I suggest you buy it.

While it's terrific that the essay is out there and people can read it, there's one problem -- it's old. I wrote it in, I don't know, October of 2007, and as the title of the essay suggests, "The Hills" never stops. Coverage of Lauren, Audrina, Heidi, Whitney (mmm, Whitney), and Lo (ah, Lo) continues unabated. On that subject, I no longer have cable. I would be missing The Hills except, well, you can watch it here. All the same, I only saw about half of last season, but -- here's where The Hills is great -- I'm still pretty much up to speed. You really just need to read Us Weekly and The Superficial, and you're all set. It's kind of similar to how I follow the Red Sox when I live out of market and won't pony up the cash to buy a TV package. I read about them online and watch the games online.

In any case, I thought I'd post some thoughts on what's happened on the show since I wrote the essay. I think, if anything, my thesis has largely been confirmed.

1. Heidi and Spencer have started posing for obviously staged "candid" photos like these:


Are you following me here? These are real people who play themselves on a TV show, and even though paparazzi follow them around and would probably take real candid photos of them, they stage these fake real photos. Is there any other show like this? I think not.

2. Heidi made a music video for her song "Higher" that was somewhat amusing...Oh, who am I kidding -- it was fucking hilarious. It's spawned a page worth of spoofs, reaction videos, and such on YouTube. In terms of unintentional comedy, it ranks up there with the "Boom Goes the Dynamite" guy.

3. Lauren, Audrina, and Lo bought a house in Los Angeles. That would've been hard on the salary of a junior stylist at People's Revolution, but, you know, Lauren has other means of income.

4. Audrina got huge fake boobs. If Whitney does one thing to her body, I will drive my car into an office building.

5. Heidi's office buddy, the one who actually hated her, quit her job and went out in style, sabotaging Heidi's plans like a modern day Iago. Did Heidi lose her job? Of course not. It's not like Brent Bolthouse has another way to get on TV.

6. Lauren and Brody Jenner never quite got off the ground, and Jason got engaged to a random girl named Katya, so what happened? Stephen from "Laguna Beach" suddenly started appearing on the show. But we're supposed to believe that this wasn't the idea of a producer? Right.

Also, I never really got a chance to comment on this, but where did they find these two people to host "The Hills" aftershow? The first time I saw it, I thought it was a spoof of some kind, like MTV was showing a Saturday Night Live skit. The male host acts like Jimmy Fallon doing an impression of a hipster. Every time they cut to him, he looks more and more ridiculous. It's almost a talent.














Anyway, I will continue to follow the show from afar, while taking in the occasional episode online. If you have thoughts on the show or if you've had a chance to read my essay, feel free to comment.